Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
