Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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