we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They took my balls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize