I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
