He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
