I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
