Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
