I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
