Jerry, you need to find god
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
