My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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