You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
