Got a toothbrush?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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