so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
