AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
