your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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