i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
