We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
