Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
