two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
