I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
