im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
