i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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