She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
