Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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