i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
