another moral hangover. fuck.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This house was built for laser tag.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
