New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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