Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
