I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
