apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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