She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
