I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize