I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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