the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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