So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
