Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
