Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dick very happy bro
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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