when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
