I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
