well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
