I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
