i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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