Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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