no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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