yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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