If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize