I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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