fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize