No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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