we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
this boner is exhausting
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
