Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
