I wanna bring you to show and tell
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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