first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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