i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
