Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
