when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
