I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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