I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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