In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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